Before the much-awaited Star Wars movie opened last weekend, friends told me they planned to watch all the earlier movies to get up to speed. I was skeptical. That’s a combined binge watch of roughly 14 hours including bathroom and popcorn-popping breaks. Frankly, most of my pals talk big but aren’t nearly Jedi enough to endure that much John Williams music, scampering Ewoks, or Jar Jar Binks’s “me-sa you-sa” proclamations.
On the other hand, thanks to my crazy brother, I already had an opening-day ticket for a marathon screening of the entire oeuvre, beginning at three in the morning with the prequels (episodes one through three), followed by a 10 a.m. brunch break and then into the original films (A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi), ending with the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
In fact, my bro, my son Zac, and I survived the 18-hour ordeal (the closest I’ll come to an Ironman competition) with a couple hundred like-minded viewers in an Oxnard mini-megaplex where popcorn, hot dogs, and sodas were discounted for our sustenance and pleasure. I’m back now, scruffier but wiser, and here to share the fruits of my wondrous excursion into that other galaxy far, far away — you know, the one just north of Camarillo.