At some point in our lives, we’ve all been told to be grateful. For many in the United States, the observance of Thanksgiving serves as the most visible reminder to reflect on and celebrate gratitude. Indeed, the practice of setting aside specific days or times to give thanks for prosperity and wellbeing is a central custom in many societies and cultures. But why should we engage in this practice?
Given the uncertainty, injustice, and personal hardship we often face, prescriptions for gratitude can feel frustratingly out of touch. For those struggling with despair, being told to be thankful can seem like a directive to put a shallow veneer over real pain — one that avoids discomfiting others.
Does this mean that authentic gratitude is only possible in the absence of hardship? Not at all. As a feminist academic and social worker, I have seen firsthand how a grateful outlook can play a vital role in resilience and well-being. Figures like Archbishop Desmond Tutu, the Dalai Lama, and Thich Nhat Hanh exemplify this. Each of them bore witness to catastrophic violence inflicted upon their beloved communities, yet, without denying this suffering, they maintained a sense of gratitude in both their public and private lives.