I consider myself to be an expert on shit. I am speaking about the excrement type. At an early age while not taking my afternoon nap I climbed out of my crib, removed my soiled diaper, scraped the contents into a felt cowboy hat and hid it in the bedroom closet, and then returned my diaper-less feces-smeared self to my crib. Judging by the evidence on my face my mother believed I had sampled the diaper contents as well. Always a scientist at heart I have to agree with her findings. I’m sure most of us have similar tales although most of us won’t admit to them.
I have shoveled hundreds of piles of dog poo from various backyards where I’ve resided, scrubbed human poo off procedure room walls in the days of high colonics gone awry, soaped baby diarrhea off my white Haitian cotton couch, wiped patient poo gingerly off the parts of my doctor shoes the shoe covers failed to protect during deliveries, and cleaned many a behind besides my own. This is part of being human.
Now approaching the downhill slide in my life I find that once again I am faced with a load of shit I don’t know what to do about. I am not the first complainer about this problem. The refusal of many local dog owners to remove their pet’s feces from our trails, beaches, sidewalks, and pretty much any available outdoor area is appalling and an environmental hazard. There is no excuse for this human behavior. Heal The Ocean supporters and our wonderful local veterinarians provide doggy poo bags everywhere. Why are so many Santa Barbarians so entitled that they can’t clean up their dog’s shit?