The idea of getting my period terrified me. And once I got it, it was even more frightening. But the thing is, all I wanted to do is shout it from the rooftops. I wanted to talk about it, see if other girls were feeling the same way, or if they weren’t, what they were feeling. And yet, when I got to school, I immediately felt uncomfortable. My only goal became making sure that nobody knew I was on my period, that I didn’t bleed through my pants, that I didn’t let my cramps bother me.
Over time, I started to let my guard down and chat about it with my friends, but I knew they were feeling the same restraints I was. So I just didn’t talk about it. I would stuff a pad up my sleeve and run to the bathroom, feel sad and tired and blame it on myself, not the natural hormone changes happening.
Finally, shoving all this down inside me became too much. I became angry when I got my period, angry my body was doing this to me, angry I couldn’t control it or do anything to stop it, angry that I felt I was going through this alone. But mostly, I was angry at myself for not experiencing this without shame. So then, I did. I keep researching, reading, learning, talking, and writing about this before I realized I needed to live up to my own advice and share my message on a broader scale.