Trump finally got something right. We are in the midst of a national crisis. No, make that a national emergency.
Craft beer brewers, we are just now finding out, can no longer get their new concoctions to market because of the president’s decision to shut down the federal government over The Wall. That turned off the lights on a special branch of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives responsible for clearing new brews for takeoff.
IPAs will be especially hard-hit by the shutdown. That’s because IPAs are inherently undrinkable unless you happen to savor the flavor of a mildew-infused basement. The only thing that’s kept the IPA bubble from bursting — other than nitrogen, of course, for a smoother, more velvety feel — has been the perpetual quest for jarringly inventive new flavor combinations bestowed with insufferably clever names. This matters deeply because the economic stability of Santa Barbara’s Funk Zone rests on the frothy bedrock of the IPA trade. Given that the Funk Zone has become the tail wagging the dog of Santa Barbara’s economic prosperity, we are all deeply affected.