An iceberg twice the size of Manhattan is moments away from breaking off of Antarctica and calving into the Atlantic Ocean. A large-footed mouse from Australia, the Bramble Cay melomys, was just identified as the first mammal to go extinct from human-driven climate change. And last month’s weather broke snow, rain, and heat records from coast to coast in the United States.
So I feel I should apologize, as I may be to blame. You see, my internal climate is suddenly warming at an alarming rate. Like, a wildfire-through-drought-ravaged-chaparral rate.
These hot flashes I’m having, I can’t say they’re a complete surprise. Scientists have been predicting them for years. Friends said they were inevitable. But I guess you can call me a hormone-change denier because, like the maniacal weather that’s beginning to wreak havoc on our lil blue planet, I just didn’t think that Aging Broad Syndrome would happen so soon, or that it would begin impacting my daily life quite this quickly.