Poodle Attacks Ukulele While Vandenberg Explodes

Musk takes over NASA, Social Security, and Department of Defense.

By Nick Welsh December 5, 2024

4 min read

Poodle Attacks Ukulele While Vandenberg Explodes — Seventy years ago, Big Joe Turner was the first to record “Shake, Rattle and Roll,” perhaps the first official rock-and-roll hit to make the charts. I say “official” because the debate still rages which was the first. Apropos of Elon Musk, his sonic booms, and the ever-accelerating number of rocket ships he’s launching from Vandenberg Space Force base, the song’s writer Jesse Stone would record the song, “The Rocket” 69 years ago. Displaying almost psychic prescience when it comes to the impact of sonic booms, Stone would record this song with his own band, named “Jesse Stone and His Houserockers.” | Credit: Wikipedia

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IT’S GONNA BE A LONG, LONG TIME: For no less than 175 years, the City of Santa Barbara has been forced to carry on without the uplifting and unifying benefit of an official song. Worse, this psychic wound has been self-inflicted. It need not be endured a second longer.

As we enter the era of perpetual sonic booms — a form of violent sonic wallpaper that threatens to become even more perpetual and violent — I’d like to nominate the 1954 classic “Shake, Rattle and Roll.”